I have become her
The one I hate
She has been hidden for so long
She has emerged
Again
Now
Why now
I remember her
She is horrible
Quick to react
Even faster to anger
She makes me hate myself
That hatred feels like burning hot whisky down my throat
She is hateful
Seething with black dark unforgiving love
Her guilt makes it impossible to sleep
Tossing
Turning
Trying to figure out how to make things right
Praying for forgiveness
For knowledge
Comfort
I hate her
She makes me ugly
Unlikeable
To me even
She makes me want to slit my wrists snd get a one way ticket out of here
I hate that she has taken so much of my life already
6 years and a bit more
Now this
She has resurfaced
Like a friend cut off at the first sign of peer pressure
She turns me into a monster
Rearing it’s ugly diseased head
Taking days
Even weeks to calm down
She enjoys this
Control
Grabbing me right in the middle of my chest
Pulling me towards the darkness
And I just give in
So weak
Trying to fight but she has a hold on me
Like 10 people holding me
Too tight
Unable to breathe
She takes over as I try to live
She brings out the ugly in me
The ugliest part of me
I need to find the off button
I don’t like being this ugly
SUPERbusyMOM 
Hang in there momma! We all have days where we feel like this. But, deep down, you know that’s not you. Each day is new. Start fresh in the morning and don’t let that anger control your day 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Am really trying my hardest but it’s like the aftertaste of vomit………going to take a few rinses with mouth wash to get that nasty taste out
Thank you for the kind words though – helps to know that someone cares
LikeLiked by 1 person
I find myself getting in those funks too. It helps me to get up early before my kids and have a little time with God with my coffee in the morning. It gives me a sense of calmness and I feel prepared for dealing with my kids all day! ha Another thing that encourages me is KLOVE radio. You can stream online at klove.com It’s impossible for me to stay in a bad mood or feel like I’m not good enough when I listen.
I send you some hugs tonight 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve got me in tears at work 😣
Definitely a hard day
Feeling super down
But thank you
For your kind words
Only reason why I am not walking out of work is because they would want to know why
God bless you
LikeLike
Can you take a quick break and walk around outside for a bit? Sunshine and fresh air does wonders too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I took a break
Thank you ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know if my comment posted….
Hang in there momma. We all go through days like we feel like we have failed our kids. Each day we have the opportunity to start fresh. Use tomorrow as a chance to not let the anger control your day!
LikeLiked by 1 person