A nonsensical post

Man oh man. Times like this I wish I had a significant other who I could just vent to. Just to have someone to cry to and tell me that everything would be ok. Even if it wasn’t. A small lie is better than the angst I feel and the sadness that is slowly simmering inside of me. I really do wish that any place was a safe place. I don’t have any friends and I certainly don’t have a significant other. With everything else going on, surely it could not get any worse? Like a bomb it hit me. It could get worse. It did get worse. Who do I talk to? You? I doubt you even care. You probably stopped reading. I can start talkinh about my period now, right? I have buddies. Yes. But do they really want to listen to me blab about what seems to have become an insistent problem?  It’s always something or other but this month? A whole 3/4 gone. What am I suppose to do? You didn’t even have the decency to tell me. I had to drag it out of you. Like dragging a tapeworm out of your arse. It’s ok though. Right? Because we’re family & because I am just such a softy. Always agreeable. Never fighting back. Never standing my ground because at the end of the day I have always been the one to be blamed. I started the fight. I started this entirely long, non sensical post. Me. Not anyone else. I should stand my ground. On this atleast. Teach her something. I don’t know though if I want to. Have to. I could just report you but then I’d be blamed again. Do I have time for that? I just want someone I can be weak with. Vulnerable. Being strong. The dependable one. Sucks. Even now. All the time even. As I dry my almost tears. It sucks. You suck.


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