A Women’s Worth

I find after talking to someone today, a mere 30 minute conversation, I have realised that a woman’s worth lies not in the outside world or the amount of LIKES or HEARTS she gets on social media but more within herself. Here I stand, trying to think which room do I start cleaning first or do I just let it slide for one more day, lie down and watch the latest episode of the Walking Dead? Instead I sit down and type because for years I have not cried and for months I have not breathed. All I want is to cry, snot and trane. Not while watching a movie but to cry from pure release, to just allow my emotions, for once, to take control and allow My Lord to lift me up. I realise that my worth is not in the role of  mother or daughter but my worth is in me. I determine my worth and if I look into my mirror and see another empty soul then there is nothing anyone can do to change that. My fire burned to ashes in my eyes years ago and I lost my passion to live. Yes, I live but I am barely alive. Scrambling for the last scraps of fresh air as the night draws near. I am not who I was and I am not sure I am who I want to be. I live a life full of sighs and exasperated motions. I barely take in the beauty of this world because I am too busy drowning in the “keep it up!” I do not enjoy many moments but the few that I do, I wish I could live there forever. I do not express my frustation often but when I do it is often too late. A woman’s worth is embedded deep within her. Should she see herself as worthless, should she see herself as unwanted ; that is what she will remain. A woman’s worth is not in the words that society speaks or the validation her selfie brings. The worth of a woman is in what ignites her soul, deep in the night when the world asleeps and her child is cradled into her bosom, her worth becomes reality. When it is silent and only the stars light the night sky, it is then that a woman finds her worth. In the quiet. In the dark. As a single tear rolls down her cheek, she seeks not your validation or praise ; she seeks only her worth.

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