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Between A Rock And A Hard Place Is Called Life and I Love Her

I have wasted enough of my time running after you, hoping you’d be a man, that you’d pitch up and prove me wrong. Here I sit,with more than egg on my face. Wanting to say something to you but you never answer my calls. Always diverted or it just rings. Rings until I get voicemail. I don’t want voicemail. I want you to answer your phone. I need to say something. If you cannot be a man for me, then be a man for her. For the good. For something better. Do something in your life that is for the best. I’m sure you enjoy keeping me on a shoestring as I run after you. Where are you? When will you be here? Alot of my old, past reflects in my mind. Everyday. Different scenes. Replying. A reminder of the mistakes I made. The things I should’ve done. I regret most of what is replayed. I don’t regret how I got to where I am. I only regret that I should’ve moved on sooner. Before even. Perhaps I wouldn’t be in this position then.  What I do get from raising a now 4 year old all alone? Besides the love and all the unseeable and heart tugging shit. What do I get from you? Fuckall! I don’t write this post with any hate or anger but more disbelief. Disbelief that I allowed it to get to this point. That after all this time I still dared to have faith in you. Believed that you would show, not for me but for her. For years you haven’t given a damn. Now, here is a golden opportunity. Am I hurt? Fuck yeah! I don’t deserve this. She does not deserve this. I refuse to waste anymore of my time but I also don’t know what to do anymore. I have run out of options. I get to love her. You don’t.

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