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Overcompensation

I find myself overcompensating. As a single mother. As Zineah’s mother. I don’t know, as a 2 parent household, you also overcompensate. I don’t ever want Zineah to feel unwanted, unloved. I always feel like as long as I can see her, I am present. Just about enough. She’s on the bed and I’m cleaning. It’s enough right? As long as I can see her and reach her within 10 seconds, then it’s enough right? Now,I am not ashamed to admit this but my child spoilt. Vriet net Woolies. She has about 15 ‘babies’ and a play room! Like some freakin queen!!! So I overcompensate. By only buying the best. By only giving her the best. My best. Hardly any spanking. Just a stern talking to. I always remind her that I’ll never leave. That I love her. That I will always protect her. Always. That she is important. Special. That one day she will be a someone. Clever. Pretty. At 3, I try and make her strong. Like,it’s ok to cry every now and again but not all the time. I want her to know that it’s ok to be vulnerable but you also have to be strong. She is independent. Super independent. Still cling AF but independent. I know she’ll grow up to be what I pray for and more. She always makes me proud and my heart pains with happiness when I see her experience something new. She is a joy. Moody AF but once she gets to know you. You’ll fall inlove so fast that your head will spin. She is my special. She is my reason. She is my why.

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