The Motherhood Diaries: Waiting & Dating

Good Day My Lovelies 😙 I hope you’re well and slowly easing into the Easter-ness that will be happening soon. This post is something that doesn’t so much as bother me but it is something that is always in the back of my mind; creeping up at the most random of times.

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Dating. Me. Single. Mother. Dating. Waiting. When.

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I am lonely. I crave that compassion. That feeling of having someone. Having this emptiness in my heart, in my gut; be filled by something, someone. Not just any old Samuel or whatever. A someone. To know. To hold. Now, some might say that I am naive, desperate and foolish. I am not. I am not throwing myself at any guy that comes around. Well that’s because no guy is coming around. Not even one.

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No one. Do you get that? Not a single male human being. Not one. Not only is that seriously sucky but it makes me question the powers that be. Why not me? All my single mothering friends are with someone,and here I am. Single. As. Fuck. Single. As. Fuck. Seriously. I am not,as they say, “actively” looking but it would be nice to be noticed. Something. To be acknowledged. Like a “hey girl. how you doing?” Eits. Beter as niks.

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I have,not “actively”, decided that I will no longer look. No longer seek. I will just live. Just let things do whatever it’s suppose to do. I will just be here.

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Internally, deep down, 5 years from now Athena has already made peace with the fact that she will have another child by the time she is 30 and that, just like the first time, she’ll be alone. Raising her child on her own.

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