And no,it’s not that dude that sings that song.
WOW,it was eventful jy…….drama drama drama.
This weekend consisted of a party and a fight (and yes there was drinking involved)
Our German exchange student is going home tomorrow so we had a lunch party thing for him yesterday. And then,my brother and I had a fight. I’m talking WWE style bra. Pushing and shouting and, of course my lame ass was crying.
Brother bear was all in my face and then I pushed him and started shouting ‘Hit me man!’
Brother bear then proceeded to tell me,infront of the parentals, *excuse the Afrikaans* “Jy gaan ses voet ses le” AND “My parents raised me right but when I’m out on the streets dan gaan jy grond toe gaan”
Shocked? Rightfully so.
I’ve obviously had time to think AND he doesn’t respect me. Not even a little. No matter how drunk he was (he was the only drunkie there) there is absolutely no respect there. He just doesn’t. Even sober he doesn’t and it’s kinda sad that my big bro doesn’t respect me. And yet,he expects other men to treat me right and with respect. How is another man suppose to respect me when my brother can’t seem to muster up the respect and love he is supposed to have,that is supposed to be instilled in him? Like all doting and what not.
Not many of you know this but there was suppose to be 3 of us. My mother had a miscarriage before she had me and I’ve always told her that she should’ve just stopped. She should never have had me. I really do consider myself the black sheep of the family.
Now,I told my Uncle (we’ve become quite close lately) and he was shocked. Even asked me,over and over,”Your brother said that to you?”
I guess he comes from a place of love and respect. Like I know that he would never dare speak to my mother or aunt like that. As old as he is,he would get a beating.
Also,I am who I am.
I am loud,obnoxious,bitchy,sarcastic and some other things that I’m sure my friends could mention.
But that’s just it – that’s just me, and not to toot my own horn BUT if you are privileged,hell even honoured enough to know the real Athena,the real me then you will know that that is me.
I am all of this and more and I am finally fuckin comfortable. It’s taken me 26 years so get to this place of happiness and now I have to go back to being ‘the best behaved’.
Know this,I will pretend because I have no choice but you will be feeling left out because while I’m being me with everyone else I’ll have no choice but to be someone else,someone I hate with you.