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Unwanted

So….I’m a 26 year old single mom who still lives with her parents. My daughter is 2 1/2 years old. We have our own space in the house and she knows (kinda, but not all the time) her boundaries. Now,this post is about me and my mom. This is not to paint her in a negative light or me in a positive one; this is just a post to express something that nags me.

My mom is busy – like crazy busy ALL THE TIME. She always has something to do or somewhere to be. The thing is I love her but I feel,for lack of a better term – neglected and even unwanted. Like I’m a nuisance,a disruption. I always wanna tell her stuff but I feel like I’m (as a person), my presence is not acknowledged. You know like if I wasn’t here it would be one less voice for her. I know that sounds bad but I don’t mean it like that. For example,I’ll say something to her and she’ll walk away – it makes me feel as if I don’t matter and my words mean nothing. It hurts,honestly. Like a whole lot but it’s not lile I can tell her coz I know shell think I’m overreacting. Maybe I am. She’s busy and I have a child so I shouldn’t really need my mother anymore right?!

I noticed she only engages when she initiates – I try to do her technique but I fail MISERABLY because I can’t pretend to not care. I can’t pretend to not be interested. I’ve spoken to my dad about this and he says that she is listening and she is taking note.

I just don’t know. I feel alone. She’s here but I miss her so much.

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